A TEXT POST

gordoananke:

midnightthunders:

So… I was giving some jelly to my cat

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My phone started ringing. Forgetting that I was holding the spoon I took the phone.

I never heard the spoon hitting the floor…

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they are evolving

A TEXT POST

floweranger:

do you ever see your face from a different angle and have a mental breakdown

A PHOTO
Reblogged from MON AMOUR
A TEXT POST

multipack:

if my life was a drink it would be room temperature coke with the ice melted

A TEXT POST

albrie:

wHEN PEOPLE ASK YOU WHAT YOUR MOST TREASURED POSSESSION IS AND THEN JUDGE ME WHEN I SAY IT’S MY MACBOOK WOW SORRY DID YOU WANT ME TO SAY A LOCKET MY GREAT AUNT ALICE’S GRANDFATHER’S SON HANDCRAFTED FROM KING ARTHUR’S SWORD WELDED WITH PHOENIX TEARS AND THE BLOOD OF A WOOD NYMPH NO OKAY I FUCKING LOVE MY MACBOOK NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP AND WATCH HOW I CAN SCROLL WITH TWO FUCKING FINGERS OKAY THAT”S BETTER THAN ANY LOCKET

Reblogged from Amor Prohibido
A VIDEO

staygrandbeiconic:

LEGIT THE BEST POST I HAVE EVER SEEN.

I literally just reblogged this two times in a row. No fucks given. This is the greatest post on tumblr.

A TEXT POST

brttny32194:

but why do i say “i know” to my pets when they make noises. im lying to them. i don’t know anything.

Reblogged from ily @frankocean
A PHOTO

xsista:

I was helping my little brother

Where the fuck does jack come from

The most accurate representation of math I’ve seen yet.

A VIDEO

Interviewer: “You gave her 12 out of 10 on kissing”

Jen: *makes a kissing noises*

Reblogged from Carter Reynolds
A TEXT POST

alexernst:

unwakeable:

that time in the night when you can’t stop yawning but can’t get to sleep either

i yawned after reading this

Reblogged from strangeparking
A PHOTO

boneart:

idonotneedthisrightnow:

you are acute coffee pie

you are narrow, scalding and irrational

A TEXT POST

ask-koki-kariya:

lastofthetimeladies:

im-a-timelord-you-ass:

lastofthetimeladies:

lastofthetimeladies:

MY MOM JUST ASKED ME WHAT I WANT MY CAKE TO BE FOR MY SPIDER-MAN THEMED BIRTHDAY PARTY AND I TOLD HER I WANT IT TO BE IN THE SHAPE OF ANDREW GARFIELD’S BUTT AND SHE WAS LIKE “SEND ME SOME PHOTOS I’LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO” OH MY GOD

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME

'Scuse me, but may I have a piece of that ass?

Do you know how many times I made that joke at my party

Do you

omfg

A PHOTO

drinkandthedevil:

OH MY GOD 

Reblogged from psychedelic
A TEXT POST

meladoodle:

what do you mean a thesaurus isnt a dinosaur